How to get rid of bad habits.
You most likely already know what's good for you and what's not. You know that eating fried, fast food, is not good for you. You understand that laying on the couch, Watching TV and browsing social media is also bad. And you are fully aware that smoking is horrible for your health.
Now the question is, why do you do the things that you know are not good for you?
If you logically understand which habits are bad, why don't you avoid them?
In this article I will explain why you keep on performing those bad habits and I will give you a solution to get rid of bad habits. So read carefully.
This is Mike. Like a lot of other people, Mike loves to play video games and browse social media on a daily basis. On the weekends he likes to party, which involves smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol ( which is bad and you should always avoid ).
However, Mike also has high ambitions and wants to have his own successful business.
Now Mike isn't stupid. He knows there are negative side effects that come along with his habits. But why does he keep mindlessly playing video games and partying on the weekends, when those activities are not aligned with his goals and are ruining his results?
Logically he should be avoiding those bad habits, but for some reason he keeps giving in to his cravings. One of the reasons is that humans didn't evolve to delay gratification, but instead we evolved to put priority on actions that give us the most benefit in the moment.
Our ancestors spent their days responding to different threats, finding shelter and securing the next meal. It made sense to place high value on things that would benefit us immediately. What could potentially happen in the future was less of a concern. So when our ancestors found food, they ate it right away.
They didn't wait and be like: "Oh, i'm on a diet, I will eat that tomorrow." No, that wouldn't make any sense in terms of survival, as tomorrow was not guaranteed. However in the modern society, we don't have to spend hours searching for a meal or running away from a predator. Instead, today we live in a "delayed-return environment".
Essentially we can work for years before our actions deliver the intended payoff. If we do a good job at work today, we'll get a pay check in a few weeks.
If we start exercising every day from tomorrow on, we probably won't see any physical changes for months. But even if the rewards in the modern world are delayed, the human nature has stayed the same.
Our brains are still wired to put a higher priority on things that will give us an instant return, rather than delayed return. And the thing with bad habits is that there wards are immediate, while the consequences are delayed.
Smoking and drinking might kill Mike in 10 years, but in the moment it feels good. Playing video games and browsing social media might waste years of Mike's time, but it brings him some satisfaction immediately.
To our brains, a reward that is certain right now, is worth more than the one that is merely a future possibility. Now while our bad habits might seem destructive, they are not meant to be. We perform those bad habits, because we get a craving for them. And we all have these cravings, each one of us does.
However our brain didn't evolve with a specific desire of alcohol consumption, to check Instagram or to play video games. Those cravings are just a manifestation of an underlying motive.
At a deeper level, people smoke because they want to reduce stress and anxiety. They use social media websites to win social acceptance and approval. And they play video games to relax or to connect with others.
In other words: our habits, whether they are good or bad, are just modern day solutions to ancient desires. We perform them because they provide some of the benefits, otherwise we would not do them. It just happens that some of those habits come with delayed consequences. Bad consumption habits might reduce stress in the moment, but it's doing damage to your health.
Social media might help you feel connected to others, but overusing it could shorten your attention span. Video games can be relaxing, but they tend to be a huge time sink. But since those consequences are so far into the future, it makes bad habits much more difficult to eliminate. And because they provide us with some benefits, we can't expect to simply cut them out and be done with them.
If we do, we will have certain needs that willbe unmet. That's why simplistic advice like "just stop those habits" doesn't work. But once you understand all of this, the process becomes much easier. You see, your current habits are not necessarily the best way to solve the problems you face.
They are just a method you learned to use. After all, there are many different ways to address the same underlying issue. One person might learn to reduce stress by smoking.
Another person learns to decrease it, by going for a run or lifting weights at the gym. Same craving, but a different and a much better solution. And this is one of the best ways to break your bad habits. Replacing them with better alternatives. But it's not that straight forward.
First you need to identify what craving does your bad habit fulfill.
Does it decrease stress? Maybe it relieves boredom?
Most of the time, it is not immediately obvious and it will probably require some hard thinking. But once you know what benefit your habit provides you with, then you can look for its replacement. This is how Mike started his habit replacement journey.
Firstly, he wrote down all the habits he knew where holding him back from reaching his goals. In his case: mindlessly playing video games, browsing too much social media, excessive smoking and drinking on the weekends.
Secondly, he identified what triggered those habits. Mike found out that he played video games whenever he was stressed. He browsed social media whenever he was bored. And he went out partying on the weekends, because that was his way of connecting with other people.
Thirdly, after some digging, Mike found suitable replacements for his cravings. He decided that exercising was a better alternative to relieve stress. He started reading business articles and books,to learn something new, whenever he felt bored.
And finally he began going out with friends for lunch or a cup of coffee, so he could still nourish bonds with other people. Mike still had the same cravings as he did before.
He just replaced bad solutions, with better alternatives that aligned with his goals. Now while this might sound simple enough, it's far from it. There are other obstacles that Mike had to overcome. Because his bad habits were automatic, Mike still found himself unconsciously performing them, even if he knew about an alternative solution.
That is why he started optimizing his environment in a way that would make his bad habits difficult to perform, while making good habits easy to do.
Our environment has a big impact on our behaviour and it was no different for Mike. His video games, were always in a visible place and easily accessible.
So Mike un-installed his games, unplugged his console along with everything else, and hid it in the closet. Where his gaming station once was, there is now a gym bag waiting, primed and ready to go. You might think that this wouldn't work.
After all, Mike could always just drag his console back from the closet, plug it back in and install the games again. Sure, it's only 5 minutes of work, but he would have to get over this extra obstacle he set up for himself. And it worked wonders.
Instead of automatically grabbing the controller and playing like he usually did, this extra hurdle allowed him to rethink his behaviour. And because his gym bag was already waiting there, that made his decision to go to the gym much, much easier.
He didn't have to search for gym clothes or get the bag ready, it was already waiting. Video games however, were not. Mike did the same with his social media habit. However he couldn't just hide his phone, because he needed it for work purposes. Instead he optimized it in a way that would serve him.
Mike deleted all social media apps. He replaced them with links to articles andhe downloaded an app for digital books he wanted to read. Sure, he could still access social media through his web browser. But again, it added an extra hurdle to overcome and it allowed him to reconsider his behaviour.
So he opted for an easier option, which was already waiting for him. By manipulating surroundings to work in his favour, Mike dramatically increased his chances of succeeding with habit change. And you can do the same. Another problem Mike faced, was that his replacement habit wasn't as satisfying.
At least not yet. So he had to find a way to encourage himself to continue pursuing his new habits. Mike decided to use a reward system to motivate himself.
After he went to the gym and finished his workout, he treated himself to a raspberry protein shake. His favorite flavor. This positive reinforcement made Mike actually enjoy going to the gym. Not only did he fulfill his desire to feel good and less stressed, but he also got something to look forward to.
Another reward. What also helped Mike make his habits more enjoyable, was tracking his progress. He got a big calendar set up on his wall,where he could always see it. Every time he performed his new habit, instead of his previous one, he marked a big X over the day.
After a few days, Mike formed a chain of Xs. And by doing his new habit over and over, the chain was growing longer and longer. This visual progress then motivated him to keep on going, as he didn't want to lose his streak.
This habit tracking was especially uplifting on bad days. When Mike was feeling down, he forgot about all the progress he had already made. But his habit tracking provided a visual proof of his previous hard work. And that empty square motivated him to keep on going.
Progress is one of the best ways to motivate yourself. When you can see that you're moving forward, you become more motivated to continue down that path. Plus it adds a little bit of immediate satisfaction to any activity, as marking that big X over the day is a reward of its own.
Getting rid of bad habits takes time and effort, but mainly it takes perseverance. A lot of people try breaking them multiple times and they often fail, before they finally make it work. That's because the longer you’ve had that bad habit, the more challenging it is to replace it.
So you might not succeed right away, but that doesn't mean you can't get your desired results. Mike also didn't change overnight. He did it slowly and sometimes he still fails. But what's important is that he is on the right path. So don't beat yourself up if you don't succeed the first time.
Instead, find out why you fell short, learn from that experience and use the information to not make the same mistake in the future. The only way to truly fail is by giving up. Persevere and you will find your success.
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